The Start of the Summer

Tomorrow officially starts the summer of travel and speaking for my husband. I can't believe it is already summer. How does it always sneak up on us so fast year to year? It is always a bitter sweet time for me. Bitter because it's very hard having a husband who is consistently on the road for 8 weeks straight. Sweet because when he is gone I know his time away is worth it. He gets to do what he is called to do. Create collisions in people's lives that hopefully challenge them and impact them in ways that they start and continue to become agents of change in this world.

The kids and I are heading to his first event with him. It's just a 4 day camp in Hilton Head. I feel very blessed to have a job that allows me the freedom to travel with Dave when I can. I've just about got everything packed. I forget how much stuff is involved with taking an infant on the road. We won't be traveling much with him this summer due to that fact. It's just not doable at this stage with having Izzie so young. I've even begged my mom to go along this weekend to help out and she's going. She loves traveling with us when she can and she is such a huge help to me. It will be nice because I'll be freed up in the evening to sit in on the sessions.

Emma is so excited about going too. She loves to get to go with daddy on the road when he speaks to the kids about Jesus. She really loves it when she gets to go to the beach. She'll have a blast.

For me personally I am not quite sure what this summer will hold for me. A lot of challenging times with being a single parent for sure. I am however really looking forward to some good reflection time. I've really been in a spiritual slump lately. Just going through one of those times when I sit on the back porch at the end of a busy day and look at the stars and wonder why they seem so distant and why it seems that have not even had time to sit down and think about them much less anything else. It's funny that for me personally... the times when I feel closest to the Lord is when I am in the midst of great uncertainty and trial. I know it's because that in those moments I am constantly seeking him and counting on him for every breath. It's in the peaceful moments of life that I am trying to learn that he is still ever so evident even though I seek him differently and find him in other places. It's a constant battle for me. It's even harder in this season of my life because from the time the sun comes up until it goes down, someone is in constant need of my attention. It may be work, my children, my husband, the house, a meal to be prepared, clothes to be washed. And when all the stuff ceases... in most cases I am spent and get to bed so that I'm fueled enough for the next day. I struggle to find time for myself let alone investing in my relationship with the Lord. Although that relationship is constant, I still find in my heart this huge desire to know and discover yet time always intrudes. That was a little bit of a ramble I guess... Probably because it is past my shut down time for the day.

So yes, camp starts tomorrow and we'll be there. And rest assured I'll be seeking out ways to know and understand what is yet to be learned.

Congrats Chad and Wendy on 10yrs

Congrats Chad and Wendy on 10 yrs of marriage.

I think it was on one of our vacations that we came up with this crazy idea. As each of our friends celebrate their 10 yr anniversary of being married, that couple throws a bash for all the other friends. Everyone will do it one time and we'll enjoy community in the middle of it. So the gist is that you will throw down a lot of money at one point in your life for this but it will all come back to you as more friends celebrate their 10 yr. I think it's a fabulous idea.

Well last night the party was thrown and it was fabulous to say the least. We now all have a lot to live up to. It was an all paid 3 hour dinner with lots of toasts and roasts. It was wonderful. It's hard for me to realize that I've known them for 10 yrs now. Both Chad and Wendy have had such impact on my life as a person. They have always been there through the great times and the struggles. Our older children Sam and Emma have spent every day together since they were 3 months old. So Chad and Wendy.. thanks for letting me have a daily peak into your life and your marriage. Thanks for always living hard but loving harder.

I am going to have a niece!

We just found out tonight that my sister and brother in law are having a little girl. Caitlyn Elaine Pruitt. I am so excited for them and now I can get rid of all my girl clothes!

I'm having an off day

I have had a crappy day.

I just got back from seeing a surgeon today about a possible hernia. Well I have one. Not only one but two. They are from my last pregnancy. They don't hurt me and they are very small but in time they will only get bigger and they will have to be surgically taken care of at some point. No rush from my end on this. The other news is that he once again confirmed I have recti diastase. And the news on that is not very promising either. What did he say??? HMMM... I think it was unless I have a career where my midrift is making me money the risks of getting it surgically corrected far out ways any future benefits. I think that is how he put it. So for now I permanently have a ridge in my belly area that will always be there unless I have it taken care of. It's pretty major surgery and they can't promise that it will hold up down the road or that I won't have other complications from it.

It really does bother me but not enough at this point to take action on it. And he said he would not recommend us doing anything until we are finished having kids. I mean I think we are finished but I guess I always know there is the .001 % chance something crazy would happen. So I guess till I'm a little older I don't feel like even investigating things any further.

On top of all of this, work has been very overloading with last minute stuff trying to get 3 guys on the road traveling all summer at various locations. I try to plan ahead but somehow the curse of the last minute stuff won't leave me alone.

What do I do in these moments... I try and put life in perspective. I'm not dying, I have food to eat and a roof over my head. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally. I'm not dealing with cancer or a loss of a loved one. Then I realize that my crappy day is actually not that extreme and could be upgraded to maybe an off day.

So that is what I am having. I'm having an off day and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

A Grandfather I've Never Known

My dad flew out from Greenville today to visit his dad, my grandfather in Upstate NY. He has not seen him in 5 years. I can't remember how long it has been since I last saw him. I really don't have a relationship with him. It's kind of sad. He was there at my wedding 10 yrs ago and then I think I've just seen him a few times inbetween. I have no idea what went wrong in the grandfather/grandaughter relationship. I just know we've never really had one. So as I was thinking about him today I did have a few memories of him that I wanted to share. They are very random.

1. He always made me toast with honey on it when I was little.
2. In his cellar he had a magic 8 ball that you would shake and as questions too. For a young kid this was very facinating.
3. He always had wine in his cellar so I thought he was a bad man. Thanks mom and dad for instilling in me that wine was bad and that I was going to hell if I looked at it! Thank goodness we can laugh about that stuff now and that our family has been liberated from that aweful theology!
4. He lives on this big steep hill.
5. He gave me a valuable piece of art at one time.
6. He came to my high school, and college graduation.
7. He was at my wedding.

Isn't it sad that this is all I have of memories of him. No relationship. I think that is why weekends like this weekend is so important to me. To have Emma go visit her Grandparents is something I want to make priority. I want her to know them as such. As her Gma and Gpa. I want her and Izzie to have a unique relationship with them that is all their own. I don't want them to have fleeting memories with their grandparents.

Emma is on her way back from FL. She cried and did not want to leave. I am happy about that but sad too. I've missed her so and I hate that she did not want to come home. But I love that she is making memories with her Grandparents that will last for her lifetime. That she will know them.

Church was interesting today... Dave and Chad happened to speak and they used some illustrations about us wives.. and let's just say I think it was the first time I was embarrassed about being talked about. It was the whole topic of giving grace which is a set up to talking about marriage relationships etc. Isn't marriage the place where we see grace put in play the most? Well at least for me it is. I think I was in shock because if you don't know me, then you would proabbly walk away from today thinking I'm a terrible person/wife. Dave did not mean to have it come across that way. He was just poking fun at relationships. I just think I was not in the mood today to hear it or to have our marriage put on such an open display with people I don't know. I know I was totally over reacting but it just rubbed me wrong. I showed Dave grace today and had a good laugh about it.

Which lead me to think about knowing me. I had someone come up to me the other day who reads my blog and they went on to say how they loved reading my blogs because they feel like they know me when they don't see me often. Yes, this is true, but I could not happen to think... you really don't know me. Because I really can't be honest and opened in my blogs. There is always a part of me that holds back on things because in the end I don't want to affend anyone. A stranger or a friend. But I have a lot to say on a lot of things that I just normally know that I can't share about. Do any of you who actually read this feel that way at times? And then I get in random moods like I am tonight and I want to go off at all the things I've wanted to say about a lot of things... And then I chill out and know there are people out there that I can probably count on one hand that truly do know me. That would never question a part of my lifestyle or things I would say because I make sense to them in teh big picture. Isn't it good to be known. I am so thankful for those people in my life.

At the end of a day when things may seem a little out of the box for me I have one comfort. The Lord my father knows me. And for that reason alone, I don't have to always explain everything in a blog even when I want to.

1000 miles away

Yesterday we did something very last minute. The Reichleys were heading to FL to visit their family and we came up with the idea of "Hey.. maybe they can take Emma to see Dave's family" If you know the Reichley family well, you know that nothing stresses them out. Even adding 1 more child to a van of 4 children already. They were very gracious to take Emma along. Both Reichley and Dave are from Rockledge FL.

Now let me say.. both Dave and I had very mixed emotions about sending Emma off on an 8 hr trip and us not go along. It's wierd to wave goodbye to your kid and say see you in a few days. I love to have control over situations so it was hard for me to let go. It will be the first of many of these moments for us.

Emma.. I doubt she is missing us much at all. She LOVES her Gma and Gpa and Kayleigh and could not wait to go. I miss her terrible. And I am realizing how much of a help she is to me with Izzie. You would think having one less child around would make your life a little easier. But it's not. I am thinking I've even had more to do without her here. She'll be back Sunday and we can't wait for her to safely return!

Congrats Robert and Lindsay

They are engaged! Robert popped the quesiton last night at Clemson. Dave and I are thrilled for them. I even played a part in them meeting when they first met! I believe a November wedding is on the calendar. We are all excited.

We will soon initiate Lindsay into the wild world of the Wayfarer Wives. We are glad we are adding to the posse.

First Tooth

Izzie got her first tooth today (Wednesday). Can't believe time is flying by so fast. Soon she'll be crawling!

Sad and Unhappy

Heard this today and made me think on it....

Sad - Loosing something you had.

Unhappy - Loosing something you never had.

Haiti

I don't know why I do this to myself. I just got on a site that always drives me to tears. If you have time feel free to visit haiti nurse It has torn me up many times I visit. I think I go there for reality checks. I always walk away from Lori's journals with new perspective on any situation that I may be in. And I have come to some realizations these past few weeks about adoption.... or at least I think I have.

One is that I realize that not everyone has a passion or a heart to have a child in their home that is not biological. A friend recently pointed that out to me. I am just under the understanding because of my own desires that all people feel that way. And they don't. Which is not sad or wrong but it has really confirmed to me personally my heart to adopt. I think it is really about a family mission for me. I want our family to live out what we preach. And the biggest tangible ways I feel we as a family can do this is to open our home and to love someone enough to call them ours. It seems so natural to me. I can't grasp the logistics of the process of how all of it will happen but I can constantly visualize the end game.

I also am realizing that I have a huge desire to help a child that is in specific need of not only a mom and dad and a home... but in need of life. In need of food. In need of rescue. I think that is why Haiti is so heavy on my heart. I have been to Haiti and feel connected to that country but I also can remember the smell of poverty there. I can remember the children with bloated bellies from malnourishment. Maybe that is why Lori's site hits me so hard. It's like I am back there and not knowing what to do or how to help them when I read her stories or dare to look at her pictures. There are children there who are orphaned not just because a mom or dad does not want them (although that is the case for some) but more for the reasons of their parents have died from disease or aids. Or their parents could not feed them food to survive. I want those children. I want to bring them to my home and feed them and lavish food on them.

Then my mind wanders to other places. Would a child from Haiti feel comfortable in our home. Would they look to me as a mom and see past my stark whiteness? Would our community and society allow someone with such dark skin feel like they belong? Would they want to be with us? Would they be able to transition and live an abundant life here in the United States? These are questions that I ask myself especially when you talk about adding someone to your family that is so different from everyone else in appearance. Crazy I know but we all know our society is not a very accepting one....

So these are my thoughts. There are children out there who need us. They need food to survive almost more than they need a mom. All of this to say, I really think I am fleshing out the details of our next steps in adopting. Almost every day I think how can I handle another child in our home. Two has really done a number on me and to be honest, some days I feel like my girls are all I can truly handle or want to handle. Then the Lord gently opens the crack in the door even further and is constantly reminding me that there is a journey that we are to be on. The details are very vague at this point and time but as each day goes by there almost seems to be this mist of clarity that pokes through here and there.

I really think we will be heading to Haiti. I am really starting to believe that there is a little boy there... yes I believe it's a boy that is looking for food. He's looking for our family to find him and bring him home. So to my future son... we are coming. I just don't know where to start looking for you.....

Wayfarer Wife Weekend

Wayfarer Wives....

This is from our last Friday getaway... This is the only G rated picture I could show! Only kidding! or am I?????

Upward Blessings

Dave and I went to the dedication of the new Upward buildings this evening. It was such a wonderful event and I was so honored to be there and so proud to have been a part of the history of Upward. It was a great moment for them. I left Upward after five years of being there about two years ago. And thinking back on my time there, Upward played and continues to play such a huge role in the life of Wayfarer. It seems like only yesterday that our family and the Norris family made a trip to Spartanburg to talk about two positions that were available at Upward... A marketing coordinator and an event coordinator. Just the roles that Wendy and I played in our jobs in Birmingham. We were hired and Wendy and I worked full time the first couple years while our husbands started Wayfarer with no saleries. Caz had and has always been so generous to me. To hire me, to allow me to go part time when Wayfarer needed me, and letting me go with blessings when it was time to leave Upward.

I've been gone almost two years now but it was like a homecoming this evening. To see so many people that I had spent each day with while there was so nice. They are all doing great and are playing such an important role as Upward is reaching around 500,000 children this coming year. I am very proud of all of them and in some ways reconnecting with some of them after a few years was like we just had our last converstation yesterday.

God has been so good to me to allow me to experience working environments that have been filled with such purpose. From serving at Student Life in Birminham to Upward and now at Wayfarer, it has been so neat to see how God has used each of these times as a building block to where I am now. It was amazing walking through the new building. It is such a state of the art masterpiece. A place to love to come and work at. Courtney asked me tonight if it was hard to not be there anymore. As I thought about it I realized that is wasn't. I sure do miss the people but I know for certain that the role I play at Wayfarer is somthing that I have been so strongly called to.

And for Upward. I am so proud that I was a am a part of the history of what they are doing for the Kingdom. Wayfarer is also going to be partnering with them in some of their curriculum world. I am very excited about that. Any opportunity that we have to make an impact on the Kingdom is such great stuff. An honor that we don't take lightly.

So thank you all you Upward friends for the years of working together. It was great to celebrate with you on all that God has done for the organization and the vision for the future. I'm so proud of you!

Ears Again

Izzie had her 6 month check up on Friday and long and behold she had another ear infection that I was clueless about. No cold or runny nose... just double ear infections. She must have a pretty high pain tollerance. She had started not sleeping well again but I just chalked that up to her being a 6 month old. So this is the 3rd antibiotic in the past 3 months. A few more infections these coming months and we'll go to tubes. Emma had them and they were amazing!

She had her shots today... Hate doing that to them. So sad when you hear them cry.

To my mom on mothers day

What do you say about the best mother ever? I know everyone feels that way about their moms or at least I hope they do. Every year at mothers day I am always reminded how fortunate I am that my mother lives 15 minutes away. It's truly a blessing for me in my life and I can not imagine raising my family without her here and invested in us. So I thought I would honor her today by letting others know what she means to me....

It's a great thing in life when your relationship turns a corner with your mother and you not only are her daughter but you are true bonded friends. My mother is one of my dearest friends.

Mom, because of you I can go to work part time every day knowing that my children are better kids and I am a better mother because of your investment in watching them. I could not work and live out my calling to be at Wayfarer if it was not for you.

I am proud of you for taking risks so late in life. I know it was so hard for you to leave the security of the pastorate and support dad in the secular world.

I can't imagine going a day without having a conversation with you. I care what you think and your opinions mean the world to me

It never ceases to amaze me how much you love my children. Even though it's your job to watch them each day, your main role of investment in their lives is playing Nana to them. You are constantly watching them for our date nights, buying them way too many things, teaching them things and helping them learn. You are creating such wonderful memories with them.

I love it that when I am sick and Dave is out of town.. you drop everything to come and be mom to me.

I love shopping with you.

So mom.. .thank you for all the tangible and intangible things you do for me and my family. I am truly blessed to have you so much a part of my life. I hope that I can be as good of a mother to my girls and you were and are to me. Thanks for showing me how to be a great mom and for lavishing constant love on me.

Happy mothers day!

It's Over

Our Girls night is over and I am in a depression! We had a blast and I can't believe it came and went so quickly. We arrived at our hotel and Courtney had already been there and set up the room with some fun surprises for us. We headed downtown greenville for the night, courtesy of Jay our transportation guy. We ate at Smoke on the Water. We had a famous drink at the Westin and then headed to the coffee underground for dessert. Then back to the hotel for sleep. Today we... slept in late! Got up and went to Mimi's for lunch and then went and saw a movie before heading home. I am extrememly tired and am ready for bed.

I think it's so good to have a community of girls that I have found with the Wayfarer wives and that we are real with eachother. Our journey's through life and celebrations and stuggles have certainly brought us bonded together. There is nothing like them. I trust them, they know me and they are commited to me in frienship.

Some highlights of my time away......
For this trip Court was the master planner and I loved not knowing what was next or being the ringleader on that stuff.

I found two new drinks that I love... the Lemon Drop Martini and a Tom Collins... They were fabulous! I don't normally go out of my usual so I was pleasantly surprised.

I loved not having to think about anyone else for 24hrs but myself

We had a time of affirmation with eachother over lunch today that was good. It's always great to be affirmed.

So until next time ladies... Thanks for the memories and loads of fun!

My find of the Month

I have been looking for a glass base lamp for over a year now. Every summer when we head to the beach when we are with Dave for camps, Emma always finds loads of shells. I've been wanting a lamp to put them in. You can't find them. I found one at pottery barn but it was 200.00. So forget that! I was at Home Depot of all places last week and found this regularly 60.00 lamp on sale for 9.00. Yup! 9.00. It was worth the wait. Emma is so proud and I love having it our room by our bed. Every morning when I wake up, I see it and it bring all the wonderful memories of finding shells together!

5 days and counting

What am I talking about? I am talking about rest, relaxation, great food, drinks, sleep, laughing, freedom, did I mention sleep? This Friday the girls are heading out of town for a much needed overnight girls night. I am so excited I can hardley wait. There is just something about getting away with the girls and being... well girls. Our husbands just came off of a golf trip so now it's our turn. However we just get one night away instead of 4. What can I say.. they are hopeless without us women.

Dave is very nervous. He keeps trying to recruit my mom to help him with Izzie. One thing I keep telling him is that she, Izzie, won't die. He is in for a tough day with her since babies are not his thing. But I appreciate his willingness to try. However I will feel better knowing mom is a call away for him. I have a sneaking suspicion that she will come and stay with him. I don't think she thinks he can do it either... She would probably worry for Izzie the whole time. Again, my husband is an awesome dad... he just does not know how to handle the feeding schedules and diaper changes very well....

Did I mention I am excited? I am sure we are in for a wild time.

Diastasis recti

Anyone ever heard of this? I think I have it!!!! Well I know I have it because I just got back from the Dr. Today to confirm it.
Diastasis recti is a separation between the left and right side of the rectus abdominis muscle, which covers the front surface of the belly area. ...

So here is my situation...
I've lost all my baby weight and then some... I wake up and and my belly is fine... by mid afternoon I look like I am a few months pregnant in the belly and then by bedtime I might at well be five months pregnant. It is the weirdest thing. I started researching on the Internet about possible complications 6 months after a C-section and ran across what I believe I have. When I lay on the floor and try and do a sit up you can put your hand right in the middle of my stomach and feel both sides of my muscles. It's separated. So when I am standing up and walking around there is nothing there that is holding everything in. They say that most pregnant women get this but it goes back 6-8wks after delivery but for some reason in some woman especially those of multiple pregnancies.. it won't go back. There are some exercises that help but for the most part it has to be corrected by surgery! And I was right. I do have it and to correct it, it would be considered cosmetic surgery which insurance does not cover. Since it's not life threatening it's not termed as medical.

So just add this to my list of battle wounds that I have received from having my two children. So unless I get surgery down the road everyone will probably assume I really like beer since it looks as if I have a beer belly.

I guess I would not mind as much if people were not constantly asking if I am pregnant. I may punch the next person who does. I was at Kols the other day purchasing a mattress topper for Emma's bed. It was in a big box. When I was checking out the lady insisted that she help me carry it to my car. I refused and she kept on bothering me saying... pull up your car and I'll put it in for you. As I left annoyed... I realized she probably thought I was pregnant and should not be carrying things.

The good news is that I am very comfortable in my skin. I love that I've got some curves that say... "at one point in my life I looked like a Boeing 747 and now have two beautiful girls to show for it" I have priceless flaws. In some ways as I get annoyed at my current situation, it's a great reminder to me of the blessing God brought my way through Izzie.

So with all that said... If you see me walking by and your mind begins to wonder to places of hmmmm.. I wonder if her and Dave are expecting again? Put the thought to rest really quick! If we ever are expecting again I'll be sure to announce it as soon as possible!

Matching Clothes

The one thing I like best about having two little girls is that I can dress them alike. Emma is so tiny and Izzie is so big that I find that I can find outfits that will fit them both. So here they are in some yellow dresses I got them.

Random

It's been a while. Too long. I've been busy as always. Here are some random tangents to keep you all interested.

Wayfarer Golf tourney went well last week. 100 people, a beautiful day and a great event.

The blessings are abundant at Wayfarer. We have had a good year so far. It's amazing the opportunities that keep crossing our paths here at Wayfarer. Any day that we get an opportunity to have greater impact on people's lives is a day to celebrate. We have added some partnerships and are so excited about the impact. That is all I need to say on that now but it's just a great time in our journey here at Wayfarer. Not to mention that we have had a consultant taking us through a journey to clarify our mission etc. His help has been huge here!

Talking about Wayfarer. I am so thankful that when I get up each day I am so excited about going to work. I hate to even call it work. I feel so blessed to have the job I do and work with the amazing people that I get to work with. I am just very thankful.

Last night was sad because it was the end to another season at Engage. I wonder now what on earth I will do for getting my weekly spiritual meat. This always begins a season of dullness in my life so hopefully this time will be different. I'll look for ways to be challenged.

As I was in the room at Engage last night it is always bittersweet. I was standing at the back holding Izzie. I looked at the seats I sat in a year ago when I was so distraught about having more children but at the time could not. I had a lot of hard God moments in that room and it was great to reflect with a child in my arms about the journey that I had been on.

Still disturbed about the child out there that is to be a part of our family. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it. Dave and I just talked about it again today at lunch.

Just surprised Dave today with a new Nike Sasquatch Driver for his golf game. I love surprising him. He would never buy things like that for himself. That is why he needs me! He is heading today to a 5 day golf outing with all of his guy friends. It happens twice a year and each year it seems they keep adding days. I wonder what he would do if I left on a 5 day girls outing??? I am glad he has these moments. He deserves them. He works harder than anyone I know and pours out always till he has nothing left. I hope he has a great time.

Me.. I will be at home these next 5 days holding down the fort. Drinking my one glass of wine at the end of each day for sure!

These are the moments I am thankful I have girls... I love having 2 girls. I love being girly with them.

We just found out some good friends of ours are having baby #3! So exited you you guys! They will have 3 under 3 I think? They sure know how to keep the flame alive! :)

Still feeling yucky about the death of Wendy's cousins husband. She is to deliver their child in the next few weeks. Just heartbreaking.

Another friend just emailed about her brother in laws wife who has been given 6 months. She has cancer. Why? Still don't understand the randomness of cancer on people's lives.

I could keep going. Better stop. Feels like Friday??? It's not!